As of 3 weeks ago, we have a teenager! Isaac rang in his 13th birthday {drumroll please}...playing army men with his brothers. Oh, melt my heart, he can still be a little boy, even though he is growing so fast. Overheard Army Men Game: Isaac says, [man 1] "Hey, where did all the poison go?" [man 2] "Uh, I was thirsty." Peals of laughter from all.
I told them they could watch a movie, but they were too busy drawing and playing together that they never got around to it. I also told Isaac that the benefit of Dad being off island was that he wouldn't have to wait until lunch to open his gift. He enjoyed his day so much that he didn't bother opening his gift until almost dinner time. I wasn't going to get the camera out, because Isaac already knew what he was getting, so there wouldn't be a surprised look, but mostly because I was exhausted. Before he opened his gift, I teased him a bit about what it could possibly be and he gave the most brilliant smile, I rushed to get the camera.
Feigned surprise, but still adorable
Eva eyeing his gift
Eva notices the better gift
Yes, Isaac is so nice that he let Eva use his gift first. A few minutes earlier, I thought I was being smart and taped the iPod sticker onto the plastic packaging and handed it to Eva saying, "Here is an iPod for you." She was ecstatic for all of 2 seconds until she realized it was a fake. Then she burst into the most heart-wrenching, sincere tears, that we all had pity on her. A two year old thinks, "Your birthday. My birthday. Potato. Potahto."
She still hasn't made a match. I guess she is no genius baby, but we still love her.
Yes, Eva is naked. She undresses herself constantly. One of our neighbors commented that they sometimes see us through the window all gathered round the table at dinner and it looks so idyllic. They must have missed the time when a naked Eva climbed on the table after dinner and ate ravioli directly out of the pot. Sneaky little thing while Mama's doing dishes. Moral of story: Don't do dishes. Who's with me?
Living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean means that almost everything we buy, we buy on-line. When we move back to a place were you can go to a store, I might still choose to shop this way, because frankly shopping on-line is fantastic. That being said, sometimes you benefit from getting to hold the item you are buying. Sometimes the ~7,000 mile journey proves to be too great and just sometimes the middleman isn't very smart.
Exhibit A--Too incompetent
Our latest fiasco was waiting for Isaac's birthday present. I bought it two months before his birthday to gaurantee it would arrive on time. I had been sweating bullets for a few weeks before his birthday, because not only was his gift yet to arrive, but Peter was also going to be off island for business. His birthday was shaping up to be lame. Finally, two days before his birthday I called the main post office to explain my plight. Well, not only did they track down the box, but they said it was on island and had been there for ONE AND A HALF MONTHS--a.k.a. 45 days! With a glimmer of hope I biked to the local post office and inquired about the missing package. If you insure your package it requires one extra step in processing it and apparently that extra step was too difficult for them to manage. This experience made this satire piece all the more hilarious.
Exhibit B--Too big
If you ever run out of fiberfill, do not {I repeat DO NOT} buy 5 lb. Five pounds doesn't sound like much but it is a lot...like make-your-own-mattress a lot. This box doesn't do it justice. We have very limited storage space, so I had to transfer the fluff to garbage bags and then shove them in a closet. It filled 4 garbage bags, because unfortunately I can't compact it as tight as a machine. This time I was the stupid one, not the middleman.
From this fluff I made this large snake, which is both a toy and draft pillow, and it didn't even make a dent in one of the garbage bags. At least my mistake can provide some entertainment.
Here is another item that was bigger than anticipated. I bought a mini-disco ball and thought it would be more the size of the small basketball photographed. At least this mistake won't take years to get over. Just a few hours of the kids playing with it and I'm sure it will break.
Exhibit C--Too small
You buy a pack of beads that cost $5-10 and then this arrives. This teeny-tiny vial! Need I say more?
I ordered mini-clips and expected them to be more the size of the black or at the very least the green. These suckers are itty-bitty.
I like to hang the children's art with mini clothes pins. It took me a few tries to finally get the size I wanted. The smallest pin is so teeny you practically need tweezers to open it.
Exhibit D--Too damaged
When you spend almost $100 on quality colored pencils, you would expect some quality packing. At the very least, something better than the equivalent of a garbage bag. You would think, but you'd be wrong. I had the pleasure of sorting through all 180 pencils to see which and how many fell out of the hole in their lame excuse of a package.
Now this is one of my favorites. An entire bottle of laundry detergent leaked due to poor packing. The company was great and sent me not only one replacement bottle, but two. However, they requested that I send that gooey mess back to them. Are they insane? I threw that pile of goo out the instant I finished snapping this picture.
Early in its journey the post office had to bag the entire saturated box and put it in another box
When my third-born asked me to make him a train cake for his birthday I was delighted. Trains, I know thee well. With three boys I've made more trains than you can shake a stick at and figured it would be a piece of cake. So imagine my disappointment when on my 7-year-old's birthday, I created this monstrosity.
I should not be surprised the dessert gods were not smiling down on me. I dared exercise during the baking and cooling---blasphemy to true dessert lovers everywhere. Upon seeing what was going to be the beginnings of a glorious train cake, turn into a pile of crumbs, my child's eyes grew big, his lips quivered and then I said, "Whoa, I made a train graveyard." His eyes lit up. I had struck gold. Apparently, it really is all in the marketing. His mouth smiled wide; who needs a train, when you can have utter train carnage! He refused all my suggestions on how I could improve the aesthetics. "No," he said, "it is perfect."
Thankfully, food doesn't have to be pretty to taste good. You just need real ingredients: butter, cream, chocolate--you know what I'm talking about. And when you aren't seven, it is especially nice when you can turn something ruined into this...
Back at awesome hotel. Welcome drink of fresh juice, no mosquitos, real spa, laundry detergent that doesn't smell a little like vomit, a dryer, no more roadside food (although favorite treat was from one--sweet, creamy coconut sticky rice with chocolate--must find again and learn to make), DVD player that reads our foreign DVDs (who knew DVDS are not universal?).
Last night got a real Thai massage. Massage is serious misnomer. It was a yoga/stretching session with a little torture mixed in. Done on a pad on the floor. Given size M scrubs-like outfit. I am not a size M, obviously. Squeeze in, but made wise choice of getting back in my clothes. First contorting, seam would have busted. Little Thai between my legs pulling hard and pushing inner thigh with feet. Elbows digging in legs, general pretzel making, etc. Repeat softer about 100 times during 90 minutes of "massage". Wake up this morning and amazed that did not sustain soft tissue damage or any hyperextended joints. Only pain is slight crushed feeling in feet and sore lower back. Might try again in a few years. Peter and I cuddling in bed and Eva (1) run up and punch his butt. He got a taste of my massage last night.
Almost done packing for next two days of travel home. Plan on spending day playing board games, relaxing, and getting another relaxing massage. This trip has been fabulous. Tomorrow we won't have internet until we get home.
Love and miss you all,
Florence
(Can you tell it is my last one? You get a proper farewell.) ;)
PS-Rachel just asked, "Did I grow up?" I said, "Yes." and then she says, "No, first I have to be a mom and learn how to make yummy food." What a cutie. She just tasted the shrimp sticks we were given. Actually munching away! Says, "Not gross for my mouth. Only gross for my nose."
Eva commandeered Peter's wallet when she realized a picture of me is in it. She kept kissing my picture and closing the wallet while saying, "Good night." and singing it a lullaby. Open and repeat. I love being a Mama.
5 days of driving, +850 km, ~22 hours driving with 5 children = insanity awesome adventure
On our last day in Thailand, we finally opened up the roasted shrimp sticks
Eating the roasted shrimp sticks
Smelling the roasted shrimp sticks
Eva playing with Peter's wallet & Rachel sings
Adorable paper-mache giraffe chairs bought on the streets of Bangkok
Rachel insists gifts must be wrapped
Eva watches the trains pass by our hotel
Rachel plays with giraffe chairs
We thoroughly enjoyed our trip to Thailand, but after over 2 weeks of being on the road we were happy to be going back home. I will miss all some of the massages, the friendly Thais, great hotels, and being called Madame {with a great accent} . I hate being called M'am. It makes me feel old. However, Madame sounds sophisticated and makes me feel revered. You laughing at the thought of me being sophisticated? I could be if I didn't have 5 kids hanging on meI wore a bra more oftenI wanted to.
Of course, before you can go home you have the dreaded job of packing.
Packing Antics
Peter stuffed in the duffle bag
Boys pretending to pick up Peter
If the hotel had a king bed, we would have the four older children share it and Peter & I would take the double bed. There was some discussion about who was the biggest blanket thief, bed hog, etc. The last night we got some documented proof of at least one bed hog.
Our last night in Bangkok started out great.
Kids sleeping. check
Relaxing massage. check
Bags packed by midnight. check
Then:
Eva wakes up at 12:25 am and proceeds for the next TWO HOURS to scream, cry, sing, babble, kick, nurse, eat yogurt, and scream some more. We then had to get up at 3:30 am to start our journey home. For those of you struggling with math, that is a total of ONE hour of sleep for Peter & I.
On our drive to the airport Josiah said he was cold, so Rachel put a pillow over him. She then sweetly asked, "Is that nice?" to see if he felt better. When we arrived at the airport 45 minutes later, Rachel turns to Josiah and kindly says, "Wake up Josiah. Did you have a nice sleep?" When my children are pleasant to each other it warms my heart, but when they are thoughtful at 4 in the morning, amid the chaos of traveling, my heart melts.
Japan had awesome play areas for the children. See me trying to get some sleep after an almost sleepless night.
Rachel was a little intimidated with all the attention she received in Thailand. When strangers would touch her or ask her a question, I told her to be friendly and smile. I explained they weren't use to people with blonde hair and blue eyes and they just thought she was beautiful. By the end she had become quite the beauty pageant queen. As we boarded each flight home, she waved and smiled at each person she passed and then she turned to me and stated, "They just think I'm beautiful." If only Eva had been as agreeable. For over an hour on the Japan flight she screamed like a banshee and was completely inconsolable, because she was overly tired. I had strangers offering help, giving unwanted advice, compassionate nods, and crusty stares---yeah, we were those people. Thankfully, the next flight went much smoother.
Rachel sings to Eva & is confused that I would suggest "Jingle Bells" isn't a good lullaby
Eva finally falls asleep
Aside from Eva's hysterical Japan flight, the two days of travel went pretty smooth. We still had plenty of starbursts (Rachel called them Star Wars) for their ears and Eva finally gave in and slept. Passing through Guam on our way back, we were amazed at the expense of everything. On the way to Thailand we didn't think much of the cost, but after being in Thailand where your money can get you a lot, it was painful to hand over a wad of cash for what felt like nothing. A five minute taxi ride for a family of seven cost $35. For that price, in Thailand we could have had a taxi for at least half a day or gotten a 2 hour massage.
The lone survivor
We grabbed two water bottles for our trip and planned on replenishing them with new ones along our journey. Unfortunately, we were not able to find any water bottles similar to this in Thailand. Because the lids are so child friendly, we hung onto these the whole trip. Every day was the same refrain, "Don't forget the water bottles." On the last flight, one of the bottles slipped to the floor during take-off and slowly slid down the aisle. Peter and I gasped simultaneously and looked at each other with wide-eyes. Good-bye treasured bottle, I know you look like trash, but you made our trip so much better.
When we got home, not only had my watch battery arrived (after two months of waiting and then going through a whole watch battery fiasco in Thailand), but we were greeted with these:
Yuck! The result of tomatoes sitting at room temperature for over 2 weeks. Note to self: check counters thoroughly next time.
The children still talk about our trip, but it seems to have left the biggest impression with Rachel. Before going we spoke to the children about respecting the Buddha and that they couldn't climb or touch any of the Buddha statues. Just recently I heard Rachel playing with her animals and she said, "Don't touch any Buddhas!" slight pause and then, "Did you touch any Buddhas?" She still tells me, "Mom, I didn't touch any Buddhas."
A Sample of our Thailand Souvenirs
These are hanging in our living room and I love the lighting they give while I nurse Eva to sleep in the evening. Every night and I mean every night, Eva pulls off my breast and points up with a smile and says, "Light ball," before continuing to nurse.
I bought 8 of these coconut candle holders and have them hanging outside on the patio.
Reality Check:
When I started my Thailand posts I was naive enough to think I could finish them before the end of March. I can be so delusional sometimes. It has been 3 months since returning from Thailand and I am finally done! Phew. It has been fun to do, but I am ready to write about other things.
